The hardest part about being alone is that means more time to think. Its hard thinking about him. It’s hard trying to maintain a friendship with someone that you have deep feelings for. I wish I could just have him back, but then again do I?. I got so used to missing him for so long maybe its just normal for my life. 80% of the last two years of my life were spent missing him. I missed him when he was in Iraq, I missed him before he left, when he came home, and now that he has moved away.
I know he doesn’t treat me like i deserve. I know that I deserve someone who is kindhearted like me, passionate, energetic, compassionate. Someone who cares enough about me to make me a priority and not a chore. I know he wasn’t the right person so why is it then that he can get to me so much?
Am I just scared to be alone? Is it just something that is familiar? I know that I love him, I just don’t understand how after all this, after him just leaving, hurting me.
I love who he is I just don’t like how he cant be who I need